 |  |
| ||
|
 | 
"Sexism" is a loaded word and everyone probably has a different opinion of what it means. The generally accepted perception is that sexism is something that only affects women. In our opinion, this assertion is a myth. Sexism is an inevitable side effect of Patriarchy and probably -- although not as negatively as it does women -- affects men just as much. The female gender, after all, encompasses many individuals that are in our lives -- our mothers, sisters, co-workers, neighbors, et cetera. Even if our specific relationships with these people aren't always ideal -- and may not even be desirable -- it is difficult to deny that our interactions shape who we are, and what direction our lives take. However, just as men are affected by this dynamic, we also shape the direction that the lives of women take. Every man plays an active role in either perpetuating oppression of women, or supporting the creation of a respectful, safe environment for us to co-exist in, whether that be in the workplace, in the classroom, on the street, in the neighborhood, or in the home. It must be understood and acknowledged that because of our privilege as men we have a different -- often the opposite -- perspective from women; we really shouldn't be making assumptions as to what women experience every day under Patriarchy. This can be a difficult concept to grasp, as it requires empathy, but how can we, as men, know what women go through? How can whites know what people of color go through? Humans versus non-humans? Rich versus poor? Capitalism is a symptom of Patriarchy, this culture where the men rule through force and the disempowered consent of those trickling down the hierarchy. Patriarchy is also the cause of any other "-ism" that describes a method of oppression, any tool that is used to keep us afraid of one another and safe within the confines of exploitation. If we're going to oppose the Patriarchy, we need to challenge oppressive behaviors when we see them. It's important, however, that we as men do not maintain an elitist atmosphere at an event such as this, with an absolute intolerance directed toward other men displaying such behaviors. This atmosphere will only scare men into concealing their biases, rather than encouraging them change. A lot of deep, intense emotions are bound to surface, however, and there may come a point in the interaction to end it, try it again some other time, or decide that it's a lost cause. Regardless, action must be taken. Thus, it will be the responsibility of men to not let oppressive behavior go unchallenged, and to support any woman who may feel the need for a more physical confrontation or the removal of a perceived threat to their safety. Further more, it is our responsibility to be open to any criticism -- no matter to what degree the criticism is made -- and to realize that only when we are able to do this, are we really allying ourselves with women. With that said, men, it seems the least we could do is to not get defensive when something we were taught in school, or in the home, turns out to be oppressive and we are confronted on it. Why take it personally? It may be something we identify with as a part of our culture. But it begs the question: did wechoose our identity or were we simply taught to be oppressive, to be close-minded, to be violent, and to be at constant odds with the safety of our mothers and sisters? We in the collective have grown tired of it. It's gone unchallenged for too long in our lives. We now see that the small things add up and we are sick of living symptomatic lives, and attacking only the symptoms -- destroying the symptoms doesn't do shit. It can't. We're going for the throat on this one. Our sisters need more allies and the only thing we have to lose is our allegiance to a culture that relies on the disempowerment of women to get its shit-work done. Make no mistake: there is little guilt involved. We didn't ask to be men, and this is nothing to be ashamed of. It's not our penis that's the problem -- it's the misuse of its power. It shouldn't be a weapon and, yet, it has become one. We are not asking men to come and be guilty and ashamed for being men -- but some humility is in order, and the most powerful thing a man can do is listento what the women say. You'd be surprised at how much shit they have to put up with, shit you've never thought twice about because you've never had to. Make no mistake: the women at this conference aren't going to hold your hand -- but the men will hold your oppressive attitudes and behaviors accountable and then -- provided you're open to accountability -- will validate your experiences and provide support through discussion. There are no illusions that, by the end of this conference, Patriarchy will be smashed. Instant equality isn't the goal, because that's not realistic at this stage. At the very least, it'll be a step for men toward understanding their male privilege, why it should be rejected, and how to do so -- because there's a vast difference between a privilege and a right. | |||||||||||||||
 | ||||||||||||||||